A sad insight
by sookieandsamfan
Summary: Peter convinces Nebula to explain why Gamora has such a hard time getting close to people.
1. An insightful conversation

_Set shortly after the events of Guardians of the Galaxy. Vol. 2 – deviation from movie plot where Nebula decides to stay with the crew after she and Gamora make up. Just an idea I had for why it might be that Gamora has such a hard time opening up to Peter, when she is clearly interested in him as more than friends. Hope you enjoy. May be multiple chapters._

Gamora and Drax had gone into town for some supplies while Rocket worked to fix yet another part of the ship that was always breaking while Groot watched him.

Peter wandered around the ship and saw Nebula sitting alone looking through some books he had collected over the years. She had only been with them for a few weeks and was having a difficult time settling in, but she was coming around as they all tried to make her feel welcome. They invited her to meals, and he noticed that the relationship between her and Gamora was melting a bit from completely frigid to now just mildly icy. He could tell the women cared about each other very much, but they still had a long way to come.

"You can read any of those you want," Peter said approaching her cautiously in case she snapped at him, which she had a tendency to do. Instead she looked up and admitted. "I'm not sure where to start. It's been a long time since I read a book. We had the best tutors when we were Thanos, but we mostly read books about strategy and warfare," she said.

Since she had opened the door, Peter took the opportunity to try to further engage in conversation. He had actually been hoping for the chance to probe her about her and Gamora's upbringing, and now was the perfect time with Gamora off ship. He and Gamora had finally admitted they had feelings for each other, but that was about it much to Peter's frustration. He knew that Gamora had such a difficult life with Thanos, but he expected there was more to her weariness about being in a relationship that just that.

"This one's great," Peter said selecting the book "Girl on a Train." It's full of mystery, sex and violence. Right up your ally I'd imagine," he quipped lobbying a joke her way to see what happened. He detected the faintest hint of a smile as she reached out and took the book from him. "Thanks," she said simply.

Peter then continued to test his luck and sat down in a chair across from her. She looked a bit startled but didn't get up to leave, so he decided to give it a whirl.

"Mind if I ask you something?" he asked.

"What about?" she responded suspiciously.

"Gamora," he answered honestly.

She still looked suspicious and said, "Maybe, what?"

Peter decided to go for it. "Well, I think it's pretty obvious that I care about your sister a lot," he said. "And, she's pretty much admitted that she cares about me too, but I can't seem to get close to her beyond that. I was wondering if you might have any insight."

Nebula looked at him for about a minute trying to decide whether to answer or not. She was still trying to forgive Gamora for so much, but they were working through it. Gamora had surprised her recently with her openness to try to actually act like sisters again. She hadn't had that in so long. She remembered the moment it had all changed – a moment that would enlighten Peter quite a bit about why he was having a hard time having a romantic relationship with her. She could tell that Peter really did care about Gamora, so she decided to tell him.

"I do have an idea," she said. "But you have to promise you won't ever tell her I told you this."

"Scout's honor," Peter said holding up two fingers. Nebula had no idea what that meant but inferred he intended to keep the secret.

Nebula began.

"When we were teenagers, Thanos was training a new crop of recruits for his army. One of the trainees was a young man not much older than us named Apollo. It just so happened that he was from Gamora's home world but was traveling with his family when Thanos destroyed it. Gamora instantly fell in love with him. I think he brought her a comfort and hope. There was so little to ever be happy about when we were with Thanos. Apollo felt the same way about her, and they began a secret relationship. But you see, Thanos forbade us from being involved with boys. He said romantic love was a weakness and distracted us from our missions. I'm not really even sure how they managed it, but they were able to sneak away often to be together for about three weeks. We learned all this later, but another recruit saw them kissing under a stairwell. Hoping to garner favor with Thanos, he told him about their relationship. Shortly thereafter, Thanos announced that he had a surprise for Gamora, which he would give her at dinner. He did this often – presenting her with a new weapon or mission. She was his favorite, so we didn't think anything of it. We started eating, and Thanos called for one of his men to fetch Gamora's surprise. That man left and came back in dragging a bloodied Apollo. He had been nearly beaten to death already. I'll never forget the look on her face when she realized what was happening. Thanos retrieved Apollo and brought him right up in front of her. She begged him to punish her instead saying that Apollo didn't know she wasn't allowed to date. Thanos said he was punishing her and slit Apollo's throat spraying his blood all over her. It was awful. Even I'll admit that. She cried as he slumped to the floor. As further punishment, Thanos then targeted her to go on missions that required seducing some big leader or warlord in order to either kill him or gain favor. I think she died a little more inside on each of those missions. It took her about five years to get to a point where he wasn't punishing her for it. He still loved her best, but he wanted her to suffer for betraying him and breaking the rules."

Peter was a little in shock and his heart broke at the horrifying story. Plus, his stomach turned at the thought of her having to sleep with men because Thanos commanded it.

"That's so sad," he managed to say.

"Whatever part of Gamora's heart was still open shut the day Apollo died," Nebula continued. "We were actually pretty close until then, but after that happened she became cold and mission-focused. A survival tactic I guess. I didn't think I'd ever see her care about anyone that way again," Nebula trailed off. "That is until I saw her with you," she finished.

Peter looked up at her.

"What do you mean?" he prompted.

"Don't expect me to get all lovey-dovey," she cautioned, "but I've never seen Gamora look at anyone the way she looks at you. I think she's in love with you. So, if I were you, I wouldn't give up on her, but I'm guessing you'll have to give her a lot of time to get comfortable with the idea of being with you in that way."

"Thank you for telling me that," Peter said. "For what it's worth, I'm in love with your sister, and I'll give her all the time she needs."

Just then Gamora and Drax returned. Gamora spotted Peter and Nebula talking and approached them suspiciously. "What are you two talking about," she quizzed.

"I was just telling Nebula about some of these books," Peter covered with only a partial lie. Nebula nodded backing up his story. "This ship is so mind-numbing, I'm willing to try anything to not kill myself from boredom," she added in her typical dry tone.

It was enough to convince Gamora.

"Fine. Now come help us unload all this stuff," she said.

They both hopped up to help, a look of new trust and friendship passing between them.

Peter vowed internally that he would help Gamora finally overcome such a horrifying experience and let him love her. He knew it would be easier said than done.

 _What do you think? Reviews welcome!_


	2. Speaking the Unspoken

The way he looked at her made her feel so many emotions at once. Emotions that she had either never felt before or was certainly uncomfortable feeling.

When she looked into his eyes, she saw a reflection of herself. A version that was beautiful, admired, loved. It was a person she didn't know.

She felt grateful that she had found someone like Peter to be in her life. Whether or not they ever managed a successful romantic relationship, he was her best friend.

She felt a desire for him in a way she had never known. She had been intimate with other men. Some on the orders of Thanos. Some as casual relationships trying to fill a part of her that was empty. It never worked. The desire that she felt for Peter was so far beyond physical. It was something that resonated deep within her. She knew that if they ever became intimate, it would be so new and wonderful and intense.

Most of all she felt terrified. She had never let herself care about anyone the way she cared about him since so long ago when she had lost her innocence. When her parents have been murdered in front of her, and every horror since then, she had long been focused on survival with little room for anything else. She never actually knew she could care about someone the way she cared about him. She stopped short of admitting to herself she was in love with him, but she knew it was heading in that direction if she wasn't already there.

She loved the way he looked at her. That much she knew. Despite how much it scared her, it also filled her with a warmth inside. He looked at her like she was the only person in the world.

The past week seemed like a blur. With everything that had happened, she knew she needed to face her feelings for him one way or another. Peter had lost his biological father and his adopted father in the matter of a day. He was holding it together, but she knew that a lot of his demeanor was a front. He was always the strong one for him team, and he wanted to stay that way. Gamora had decided that no matter how uncomfortable it made her feel, the least that she could do was be honest with him about their relationship. She owed him that. If she really believed she could never open her heart enough to be more than just friends, she needed him to know that. She knew that he had not been with another woman since the day that he met her. It was knowledge that both delighted her and made her sad. She didn't want to keep him from happiness. If she couldn't be that for him, she needed to let him move on.

On the other side, if she couldn't let him go, she needed to move past how nervous she was and face her feelings head on.

They were exact opposites in so many respects. Peter wore his heart on his sleeve and wasn't afraid to go after what he wanted. He was fearless in that way. Gamora was reserved. Sure, she was fearless in battle, but she was scared to death when it came to meaningful relationships. After all she had been through – it was so much easier to just shut that part of her off. But that was getting harder and harder every day she was around Peter. She knew he had given her ample space, and at the end of the day the ball was in her court.

She decided to do something completely insane. Pretty much everything between them had been unspoken. Though she was sure Peter only held it in because he was afraid of spooking her.

She was going to speak it. She was going to talk to him about the way she was feeling and see how he felt. She was pretty sure that he was still interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her, but so much had changed in just the past few days that she wasn't even sure of that anymore.

The ship was quiet tonight. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. Rocket was fixing part of the ship while Groot watched. Drax was cleaning some of their weapons. She knew where she would find Peter. In the cockpit listening to his music.

She approached quietly, and found him exactly where she thought she would. He was lying back with his feet up on the dash, eyes closed. He looked so peaceful. He looked beautiful to her.

Peter, she said quietly just in case he was actually asleep.

His eyes opened immediately, and he put his feet down so he was in a more seated position. "Hey pretty lady," he said. He was always saying stuff like that to her, and she loved it. It was the perfect combination of genuine and his personality.

She smiled. "Can we talk?" She tried to sound lighthearted, but he looked suspicious anyway.

"You know on earth when anyone says something like that, it's usually bad news," he said.

"It's not bad news," she responded immediately reassuring him. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"OK," he said still sounding unsure. "What about?"

Gamora swallowed and spit it out. "I was wondering if you would be willing to tell me how you feel about me, and what you would like to see happen with our relationship. You asked me a few days ago when we were going to do something about this? I'm not sure I know what this is. Plus, so much has happened. I would just love for you to tell me those things if you're willing."

Peter looked a bit stunned but smiled. "So basically you're asking me to speak the unspoken?"

"That's exactly what I'm asking," she confirmed.

"You got it," Peter said. "I've been ready to tell you the stuff for a long time, but I didn't want to spook you. I'm glad you want to hear it." He swiveled his seat backward as she took a seat in the chair across from him.

"Can I hold your hand?" He asked gently. She nodded yes, and he reached out and took one of her hands lightly between both of his.

He looks right into her eyes and began.

"Gamora, the first moment I saw you, I thought, Wow – that is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. You were leaning up against the pawn shop eating a fruit of some sort. You took my breath away – I swear. Of course, within about a minute you were kicking my ass trying to get that orb. Still – I'm man enough to admit that I was terrified and turned on." Gamora laughed a bit and looked down.

"It didn't take me long to see what you try to hide the most – that you have one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen. I honestly have no idea how someone who has been through the terror that you have – the torture – can still care about people the way you do. You are so brave and selfless. It's inspiring."

Gamora felt tears welling up as she listened to Peter. To hear him say these amazing things about her was so moving. She didn't say anything, so he kept going.

"I knew I was a Goner when I proposed that we all die rather than allowing Ronan to get ahold of that stone. When you said that you would be happy to die among friends, I think my heart burst into a million pieces. And then, when I saw you out there almost dead, it shattered. By the end of that exhausting crazy day, I knew one thing above anything else. I have to have you in my life. It's the one truth I know."

Gamora continued to blink back tears and listened intently.

"I have spent every day since that day falling in love with you," Peter added matter of factly. "I know you're scared, and so am I. But my fear is of never feeling this way again. So that's it – cards on the table – I'm in love with you, Gamora. I want to be with you and only you."

Gamora thought about asking what cards he was talking about, but she didn't want to ruin the moment and figured it was one of his many crazy expressions.

Gamora took a deep breath. She was a bit lost about how to respond. She had expected something along these lines, but Peter's words were so much more emotional and honest than she expected. She has asked him to be honest, but she wasn't sure she was prepared.

She stared at Peter a few more moment, and decided to just let her heart speak for her.

"Peter, thank you for telling me that. I know how you feel because I feel it too," she said as Peter grinned and looked relieved.

"That night in the Kiln when you protected me. I could tell that you did it because you were a good person and really just didn't want them to hurt me. You didn't want anything in return. No one had ever done anything like that for me before. Since then, every day – you've done something amazing, or stupid, or wonderful, or crazy, or thoughtful that has only made me care about you more." They both laughed.

"It doesn't mean that I'm not scared, but I'm willing to do something about this if you are," she finished smiling.

"What did you have in mind?" Peter said in his typically half joking, half flirting way.

Gamora was done talking. She leaned in and captured Peter's lips in a kiss. Clearly anticipating that's what she might have in mind, Peter didn't skip a beat. He met her kiss with warmth and enthusiasm.

As they finally made this type of contact, it was like both of their bodies relaxed into something they had both been longing to do for so long. Peter reached for her and pulled her out of her chair and onto his lap desperate for closer contact. She didn't resist and met him with equal need, closing her arms around the back of his neck and pulling him as close as possible.

The continued to make out for about 15 minutes until they heard someone clear their throat.

They broke apart breathing heavily as Gamora scrambled off Peter's lap to find Rocket standing in the doorway.

"It's my turn to watch," Rocket said looking a bit embarrassed. They had a system for taking turns in the cockpit to keep an eye on the monitors for impending dangers or requests for their services.

Peter stood up a little too quickly. "Yeah, yeah, of course," he said flustered. "We were just…" he trailed off not knowing how to finish.

To his credit, Rocket had the perfect respond. "You don't have to explain," he said. "I'm happy for you guys." Then before it got too un-Rocket-like – "Now maybe you'll stop making moon eyes at each other all the time and driving the rest of us nuts!" he said a bit grouchy.

Both Peter and Gamora smiled. "See you later, Rocket," Gamora said.

Peter and Gamora walked out of the cockpit hand in hand. "Shall we continue this in my room," Peter leaned over and whispered in her ear.

Gamora nodded yes as they made their way to that part of the ship.

 _Hope you enjoyed it. Should I continue? If so, I'll do a separate one shot noting it as a sequel since it would be rated M. Thanks for the great feedback so far._


End file.
